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#76 05-05-2014 08:19:27

HangedHourai
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Re: mental health

tbh i don't see how people put up with me because my bpd is so severe if you say one wrong thing to me i'll start crying and contemplating suicide and then in like a day i'll be a-ok again and perfectly happy


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#77 05-05-2014 13:14:49

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Re: mental health

HangedHourai wrote:

tbh i don't see how people put up with me because my bpd is so severe if you say one wrong thing to me i'll start crying and contemplating suicide and then in like a day i'll be a-ok again and perfectly happy

meanwhile i'm over here at maximum power level schizoid and schizotypal

i still dont get why people bother talking to me when i lay shit flat on the board about anything and show no interest in anything they say. ever.

Last edited by RainRain (05-05-2014 13:15:31)


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#78 05-05-2014 13:26:47

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Re: mental health

i think people would prefer talking to you because with me say one wrong thing and it will end up with them getting yelled at and me turning into some kind of verbally abusive monster.
one time at school last year one of my male friends told me my eyeliner was fucked up and i was like "WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT EYELINER YOU'RE A BOY MIKEY YOU'RE SO ANNOYING JESUS CHRIST JUST GO AWAY" and for the rest of the day i thought "god i hate him so much" and then when it was time to go home i was like "god i love him so much"
i can literally go from hating you to loving you or vice versa in like 5 minutes


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#79 05-06-2014 03:45:34

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Re: mental health

No first hand experience with it, but heard stories about how bad BPD can be. My friend told me stories about her bpd ex (they broke up because they went to different schools and they're still bffs) when we were both shitfaced and watching netflix and I felt horrible for the both of them, especially since he apparently get any mental help at his current school because he's a suicide risk (?????)

now she's a psych major who's aspiring to become a therapist specializing in personality disorders so i guess something good came out of it


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#80 05-06-2014 05:03:47

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Re: mental health

HangedHourai wrote:

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT EYELINER YOU'RE A BOY MIKEY YOU'RE SO ANNOYING JESUS CHRIST JUST GO AWAY" and for the rest of the day i thought "god i hate him so much" and then when it was time to go home i was like "god i love him so much"

maybe you were just having a bad day


i am only 7 i just found a snail how cool is that????? most of my classmates only find like ants and beatles and stuff but i just find snails

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#81 05-06-2014 05:04:34

HangedHourai
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Re: mental health

welp everyday must be a bad day because i do that to a lot of people


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#82 05-06-2014 05:08:31

RainRain
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Re: mental health

my friends have literally broken down to me and told me all about their terrible life with 5 close people to them committing suicide and how they tried and failed and all this edgy shit

and i kid you fucking not, each time i reply "cool, and?"

like what the hell do they expect me to say? and why expect me to care

it's not like shit like that doesnt happen on a daily basis

also brings me to not understand why people care that "muh familehh is divorced"

>50% of marriages end in divorce, look at my family where every couple has cheat on each other (except stepmom with stepdad they dont even know each other), and how little i give a fuck

like seriously pawn up to your shit or leave, im not here to listen to your whiny shit about your life (inb4 darkness enters my soul, i looked that bitch in the face or similar)

i can totally understand i was depressed as fuck 3 years ago and i dont know why, i just look back at that and say "why are you being a whiny bitch about nothing, eventually you're going to get over this for no reason and realize how you were depressed for literally no reason, get with it rain"


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#83 05-06-2014 05:09:35

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Re: mental health

"god all you did was attempt suicide you whiny bitch"


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#84 05-06-2014 05:10:35

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Re: mental health

GreyUltimatum wrote:

"god all you did was attempt suicide you whiny bitch"


it's not like i tell them that, this is more internal ranting as to "why do people keep coming to me like im some sort of therapist who actually cares"

you come with me with news that you're diagnosed with some terminal illness or how you're the last person in your family and i'll do something akin to "wow that sucks" or "thats terrible im so sorry"

but im not

i just say that so they wont flip the fuck out, in reality i simply don't give a damn

Last edited by RainRain (05-06-2014 05:11:37)


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#85 05-06-2014 05:12:05

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Re: mental health

because they trust you as a friend and mental health issues are so stigmatized in general that they may be afraid to tell anyone else

gj being supportive


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#86 05-06-2014 05:15:18

RainRain
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Re: mental health

GreyUltimatum wrote:

because they trust you as a friend and mental health issues are so stigmatized in general that they may be afraid to tell anyone else

gj being supportive

yeah i think thats the issue

i don't really consider anyone i know at school as "friends", more of acquaintances.

i mean, i know them and what they're like and they know me and i just go around them because theres nobody else to (or i just go alone if they're not there)

but i don't really constitute that as friendship, i don't have any "care" persay for them. they're people around and i'll soon forget about them and never bother to remember their names. thats about as far as it goes for me

yet for some reason i'm their best friend and uber trustable and share allmysecretswithpls

i'm not a supportive person until i legitimately care about you, and that takes some effort to do

Last edited by RainRain (05-06-2014 05:15:45)


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#87 05-06-2014 05:18:53

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Re: mental health

well if they're telling you they tried to kill themselves you should try and get them help
because that's what decent human beings do


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#88 05-06-2014 05:43:13

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Re: mental health

GreyUltimatum wrote:

well if they're telling you they tried to kill themselves you should try and get them help
because that's what decent human beings do

it's not like it was recent

more like "when i was 11 i almost killed myself"


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#89 05-06-2014 05:50:41

HangedHourai
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Re: mental health

well i mean you're not inclined to help them when they say they were/are suicidal but it's the morally correct thing to do. i kinda get where you're coming from though, if you're not one of my very close friends i could literally not care less if you say you're suicidal or w/e


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#90 05-06-2014 06:15:33

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Re: mental health

HangedHourai wrote:

well i mean you're not inclined to help them when they say they were/are suicidal but it's the morally correct thing to do. i kinda get where you're coming from though, if you're not one of my very close friends i could literally not care less if you say you're suicidal or w/e

i don't see why i have the authority to stop a person from killing themselves, nor why it's "morally correct"

suicide should be a choice, so go ahead and do it if you want to


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#91 05-06-2014 06:21:38

HangedHourai
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Re: mental health

i feel the same way tbh. if you tell me you're suicidal i probably won't try to talk you out of it but i will try to make them think things over because alot of the time people (myself included) get upset and have suicidal thoughts over the most trivial things


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#92 05-06-2014 06:56:05

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Re: mental health

HangedHourai wrote:

i feel the same way tbh. if you tell me you're suicidal i probably won't try to talk you out of it but i will try to make them think things over because alot of the time people (myself included) get upset and have suicidal thoughts over the most trivial things

yeah i feel like the only reason i do anything that seems nice is A) people i actually care about, or more likely B) to keep up appearances (as to not look like a heartless fuck 24/7, i dont care if i have a good rep, just dont want a turrible one)


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#93 05-06-2014 06:58:25

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Re: mental health

i try to be nice to people but due to my extreme social awkwardness it always comes across as me being weird and creepy


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#94 05-06-2014 07:02:03

RainRain
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Re: mental health

oh i know exactly what i could do to be best "friends" with everyone in my school, i know whats socially acceptable in places i'm in and even where im not

i just simply don't want to be friends or care about being nice to others


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#95 05-06-2014 07:07:48

HangedHourai
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Re: mental health

people always try to talk to me but i have literally 0 interest in making friends so i feel you


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#96 05-07-2014 07:38:14

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Re: mental health

idk if this is relevant to the ongoing talk but I've noticed that people that try to commit suicide are kinda trying to save  their dignity and that's why they end up being suicidal and all instead of taking the no shame route and getting it fixed once and for all or at least get over the suicidal thoughts. Just a minor observation of mine and I really doubt that there's that many people that will inevitably kill themselves.
What rain said about his buddies talking to him about their suicide attempts that reminded me of this.

I guess to stay on topic about the whole social thing I try to be super nice and all since I'm just naturally like that but I sorta just have one buddy and saying that is stretching it last time we saw eachother was like in march and I don't even talk to him over the internet/play league even though he's up for it. Dunno what to make out of it I just kinda recently started to realize that my way of knowing people  was just them being classmates/coworkers and even at that I barely talk to them.


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#97 05-09-2014 07:25:21

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Re: mental health

the one thing i hate the most about how i organize my thoughts is i forget the progress of achieving a thought

as in, i have a problem, so i work it out and come to a solution and confirm the solution works

when that happens, i dont need the details of the progress tog et to the solution, so i subconciously forget about it and just have the solution

this leads to SO many scenarios where i know i'm right, i feel i'm right, but i forgot why i'm right
and its like, why cant i just remember how i got to this conclusion?
i utilizie this so much in math and tend to redo problems 50 times over because im like "wait... how did i get here?" even though it was right

it's especially troublesome when i have to explain why i claim something to others (and even moreso in a live situation like league, where i devise a plan and forgot why it'll work)
then theres the factor of when i do that and im actually wrong...

Last edited by RainRain (05-09-2014 07:27:00)


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#98 05-27-2014 20:00:02

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Re: mental health

apparently i'm depressed because i only work out 4 days a week and not 6


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#99 05-28-2014 12:24:56

HangedHourai
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Re: mental health

apparently i'm depressed because i lack serotonin
pffffft how silly amirite


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#100 05-28-2014 18:26:22

GreyUltimatum
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Re: mental health

that is lacking brain chemicals

this dude said i was depressed because my biceps aren't large enough. i'm finding a different doctor


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